Good Manners: Thank You Notes

While I realize some proper behaviors and good manners have changed since I was born, there are a few things that I believe are still important.  Writing thank you notes is one of them.  It is an important task I learned as a child and passed on to my children.

Today I received a note from a friend in a distant city.  It was a short note, hand signed and addressed in an envelop with a stamp.  It was not an email or message posted on social media to just take care of the "thank you".  Time and effort had been put into it.  That spoke volumes to me.  It made the message special.  It made me feel special.  It is a lesson I will remember.

Of course it takes time to send personal thank you notes to dozens of people who send wedding gifts, baby gifts, meals to struggling families, flowers for funerals, etc.  But even if it takes a year to catch up with the notes, it makes all the difference to the one receiving it.  Taking a short cut with a generic email on a distribution list or posting notes to the individual on social media (and everyone else sees it) is just not the same.  It may be better than nothing, but seriously, isn't what someone has done for you worth a little more than that?  Isn't their sacrifice worth a simple note?

When in doubt, take the time to do what is best, not just enough to get by.  That is a good lesson for thank you notes and life.

Making Changes with Priorities

No doubt our priorities can change.  We always keep the most important things where they are in our list, but within those broad categories (God, Family, Work, etc.) we can make changes. 

When our children are small, our priority is to give them the necessities of life and help them learn to be responsible, independent adults.  When they are grown, that is no longer an issue although our children and family still have the same place in the hierarchy of priorities.  Changes happen as we mature and experience the different stages of our lives. 

As I retired from 30 years of classroom teaching, my organizing business was just getting started.  Within a year, it grew so rapidly that it consumed as much time as teaching.  At that point, I had to make a choice of keeping it as a priority with my time or placing it below other things that were more important.  Upon retiring from the teaching career, I had hoped to spend more time in the activities of my church and with my grandchildren.  I couldn't do that with this new career, so I began to train other organizers to take most of the workload.  Also, I no longer update my organizing blogs on a monthly basis, but have structured them together with archives that keep the monthly tips available to anyone wanting them.

It is hard to let go of routines that are familiar and even more so with relationships.  It may be necessary, however, to do just that in order to keep our priorities in line.  Growth takes place whenever we are able to make those hard choices.  That is what maturity is all about.

There is Light at the End of the Tunnel

If you think this situation you are in will never end, I can say with assurance, it will end.  So often we get caught up in the merry-go-round of life that we think there is no hope.  But there is a time coming when it will be different.  We all feel the stress of busy lives, but children do grow up, the life cycle continues on and we adapt.  This may not be the answer you need right now, but hang on.

There is no doubt in my mind that rearing children to become self sufficient adults is the most demanding job a mother can have.  Make that more than one child and the difficulties become exponentially.  Add a job outside the home for the mother and it can seem overwhelming.  I have been there and it is possible to think you cannot last another day.  When you are ready to give up, throw in the towel and enjoy the biggest pity party of all, stop, go to the bathroom, and wash your hands.  This may not seem like the best solution, but it will take you away from the battle and give you a moment to gather yourself and regroup.

In those few moments alone, try to remember:  1.  You have made it to this point.  2.  You can take one more day.  3.All the things you love, appreciate and are thankful for in your life.  Now force yourself to vocalize this last step.  Trust me, it will give you a new perspective as you leave the bathroom.  The situation will not necessarily change, but you will have the strength to go on.

Now here is how I know it works. 

Once when I was depressed and having a royal pity party, I asked my husband how he kept from feeling sorry for himself.  He told me he tried to maintain a thankful heart.  Since I evidently did not have one, I started praying that the Lord would give me a thankful heart.  I did this for almost a year when one Sunday my daughter, at age 5, set the downstairs bathroom on fire with a candle.  My husband put out the fire with water from the toilet and faucet but not before it had scorched the wall, ceiling, towel bar and floor. 

As I was mopping up the floor on my hands and knees, I started thanking God out loud for saving my house, saving my family, etc. etc.  I didn't even realize what I was doing until I stopped mopping.  When I realized how I had been praying, the Lord reminded me I had asked for a thankful heart.  I can honestly say that from that point God changed my attitude about all my circumstances.  While the journey has not always been easy, I have resisted the urge to complaine.  And many times since I have found myself doing the same thing I did that day in the bathroom.  It just gushes out as part of my inner self.  My last post was about our special dog dying. As we got in the car after putting Kasey down, I started thanking God out loud for letting us have her for 9 years, for healing her 4 years ago and giving us those extra years, for making her such a fun and loving pet, for healing our broken hearts, etc.  I did this all the way home.  It came as natural as talking about the weather.  While I miss her, God used my own words to comfort and encourage me.

Beth Moore, the author and Bible teacher once said when someone asked her how she learned to love God's Word so much and her answer was that she had asked the Lord for just that.  I know I got a thankful heart because I asked for it. And you can have one, too.

 

Yes, life can bring its challenging and difficult moments, but a thankful heart and an attitude of gratefulness can go a long way in making those moments endurable if not better.  Try it.

 

 

The Loss of a Special Dog

In July of 2013 I posted the story of the miracle  healing of Kasey, our border collie.  Her miracle was documented as such by her veterinarian and it became a permanent part of her health record as well as a testimony to all at the clinic.  She had been diagnosed with 8 weeks to live in August of 2010 but without any treatment survived and lived a healthy life until today.  In May of this year another inoperable tumor appeared near the site of the first one.  Since there were no advisable treatments, we could only trust God to have his way again with her and us.

We wanted God to either heal Kasey, take her quickly without suffering, or let us know without a doubt when it was time to put her down.  Tonight about 5:15 she was outside with Eddie and began bleeding from her right nostril.  When we realized we couldn't get it to stop, we called her vet at 5:25 as they were closing and they referred us to the emergency clinic. By the time we got her to the car she was so weak she stopped to lay down in the yard.  At the clinic, a precious doctor told us her tumor was bleeding and even if we temporarily stopped it with guaze and treatment, it would continue to bleed internally unless the tumor was removed.  He agreed with other veterinarians that such a surgery was impossible.  He said the kindest thing was to have her put down before she suffered more.  We did. We will have her creamated and bring her ashes here to bury in the back yard. 

 

To say we are heartbroken after having her as a part of our lives for almost 9 years is an understatement.  She was a constant companion to this retired couple who spent lots of time at home with her.  She was an integral part of each day and it will be so hard to go on without her.  We are thankful to the Lord for the extra three and a half years he gave us after the first cancer, that he made it crystal clear to us when it was time for her to go, and that we have such good memories of her.  She was a very special dog in so many ways.  She left a legacy of the grace, miracle healing and the mercy of the Lord.  Not many animals have that.  In "Heaven is for Real" the boy tells of seeing dogs in heaven.  We know Kasey would qualify.

Clean Up Your Paper Files!

Yikes, it has been a while since I posted here!   I have, however, been thinking that this would be a good time to pass on what I have learned about keeping necessary papers.  The chart below is one I compiled after searching several accounting sites and the IRS web page.  These are recommendations only and of course you should seek out professional help when in doubt.


That said, you need very few paper documents as almost all financial transactions are now stored in cyberspace and can be accessed by the institutions quickly.  I will share one personal account.  In October of 2007, I purchased a built in microwave to replace our 9 year old model that died.  I charged it to my MasterCard at Lowe's and in the process of installation, lost the receipt.  Of course Murphy's Law lives at our house and the microwave broke after 10 months--less than the year warranty.  A call to Lowe's with the model number of the unit and my personal information was all they needed to locate the receipt, make a copy and mail it to me.  This provided the proof needed to have the repair covered by the warranty. 

 Retention Guidelines for Keeping Important Papers

Taxes--Returns (With accompanying documentation of receipts, etc.) Records for tax deductions taken	Three to Seven years The IRS has three years from your filing date to audit your return. The three-year deadline also applies if you discover a mistake in your return and decide to file an amended return to claim a refund. The IRS has six years to challenge your return if it thinks you under reported your gross income by 25 percent or more. There is no time limit if you failed to file your return or filed a fraudulent return.
IRA contribution records	Permanently If you made a nondeductible contribution to an IRA, keep the records indefinitely to prove that you already paid tax on this money when the time comes to withdraw
Retirement/savings plan statements	From one year to permanently Keep the quarterly statements from your 401(k) or other plans until you receive the annual summary; if everything matches up, then shred the quarterlies. Keep the annual summaries until you retire or close the account.
Bank records and    statements	From one year to permanently Go through your records each year and keep only those related to your taxes, business expenses, home improvements and mortgage payments. Shred monthly statements and keep end of year summaries.
Brokerage statements	Until you sell the securities You need only the purchase or sales statements from your brokerage or mutual fund to prove whether you have capital gains or losses at tax time.  Shred other monthly statements.
Bills/Purchases	From one year to permanently Go through your bills/receipts statements once a year. In most cases, when the canceled check from a paid bill has been returned or statement is reconciled, you can shred the statement.  Keep only those related to tax deductions. Records for big purchases -- such as jewelry, rugs, appliances, antiques, cars, collectibles, furniture, computers, etc. -- should be kept in an insurance file for proof of their value.
Credit card receipts and statements	From 45 days to seven years Keep your original receipts until you get your monthly statement; shred the receipts if the two match up. Keep the statements for seven years only if needed for tax-related documentation.

 

Paycheck stubs	One year When you receive your annual W-2 form from your employer, make sure the information on your stubs matches. If it matches, shred all but then end of the year stubs. If it doesn't, demand a corrected form, known as a W-2c.
House/condominium records	From six years to permanently Keep all records documenting the purchase price and the cost of all permanent improvements -- such as remodeling, additions and installations. Keep records of expenses incurred in selling and buying the property, such as legal fees and your real estate agent's commission, for six years after you sell your home.
Legal Records Medical History	Permanently
Medical Insurance, Medical Records	Keep insurance records as long as premiums are paid and claims resolved. Outstanding claims records should be kept until resolved. Records documenting tax deductions should be kept with the tax returns.

 

Source:  www.Bankrate.com.   These are guidelines only.  For more information, consult an accountant or the IRS at:  www.irs.gov

Organizing Tips for October



Fall is officially here.  In some parts of our country the weather may not show it, but it is time to get moving towards the season filled with decorating and entertaining. 

Buy your Christmas Cards now while selection is best and send out “Save the Date” cards for any holiday events you plan.  Update your calendar with all the special fall events taking place, put out your fall décor and get your yard ready for falling leaves.

This month we will concentrate on getting the dining room and/or eating areas organized and ready for holiday entertainment. 

• If you have a dining room that is not used often, the table can become a dumping ground for items put there temporarily.  What starts out as the mail mutates into miscellaneous things coming into the  house.  Start today to make it off limits for the temporary put down.
• Inventory your linens and purge what you haven’t used in years.  If some hold sentimental value, see if someone in your family can use them and give them the honor they deserve.  If some are in need of repair, make the decision to take care of that or to move them on.  Remember removing those that you do not use will make more space for those that you love and use.
• Look over your dinnerware and remove pieces that cannot be used because of chips or other damage.  If there are odd pieces that cannot be used with other items, move them out, too.  Complete sets that are stored in boxes and never opened should be sold, donated or given to someone who wants them.   As with your linens, move on pieces that are simply taking up space.
• Provide adequate seating for all those eating together.  Folding chairs can be used and stored in a closet or other storage area afterwards.  Wooden posts located on the wall of the garage can be used to hang them so they do not take up floor space.
• Cloth or paper napkins can be placed in an attractive basket, bowl or tray and serve as a centerpiece.
• Placemats are more versatile to use than tablecloths and can be left on the table as decorations or stacked in the center with a napkin basket.
• Dinnerware, flatware and serving pieces should be located in an area convenient to setting the table and replacing after clean up.
• Special occasion or seasonal dinnerware or silverware should be kept only if used and you have sufficient space for it.  .
• Table cloths can be stored in shallow drawers or hung over a dowel or hanger covered with the empty roll from wrapping paper or paper towels.  Slit the roll on one side and slip it over the rod.  Hang it in a closet.  This will prevent additional wrinkles.
• Additional linens can be stored in the drawers or shelves of dining room furniture such as chests or buffets.  You may also use a linen closet if one exists.
• Consider placing a clothing chest with drawers in the dining room if no longer needed for clothing.  It is ideal for linens.

Additional Activities to make the dining room more functional

• The dining table may be a good choice for homework if the room is good for studying.  A tote with desk supplies may be used and then stored when the work is done.
• It may also used for craft projects or other art activities.  Cover the table with a protective cloth, cutting board or plastic before using it. Portable storage for those supplies make it easier to clean the area when done.
• If the family needs home office space, reserving a corner of the dining room for that activity is a good use of space.  Choose a table or desk that compliments the other furnishings.  Some items can be stored in the furniture already there or in rolling carts and file trolleys that can be moved to a nearby closet when not in use. 
• If there is not space in the family room for board games and card playing, those items could be stored in the dining room for use there..
• When not used, keep the tops of buffets, chests and china cabinets clear and free of clutter..
• Keep the table attractive when not used with a centerpiece and/or tablecloth.
• Use washable decorative fabrics on surfaces to reduce the amount of dusting.

The end of the month also brings Halloween and the Trick or Treat invaders.

·          First you want to be sure the pathway to your door is safe. Remember to clean the driveway, sidewalk, steps and porch while it is still daylight. Fallen leaves can be slippery especially when wet so they should be removed as well as any toys, twigs, etc. Make sure this area is well lit by leaving your porch light and any other light fixtures on during the Trick or Treat hours.

·         It is recommended that you give only individually pre-wrapped candy. Since this is the beginning of flu season, you should not allow each child to reach into your container to get the candy since each one could be contaminating the other pieces with his hands. Rather, you should choose and drop the candy into each child's bag yourself.

·         As an extra precaution, you may want to use disinfecting wipes to clean your doorbell or door handles if you keep it closed between visitors. This can be done periodically during the evening or at the end when Trick or Treating is over. Keep hand sanitizer near the door and use it yourself as often as you think necessary.  It is a shame we need to be so careful, but it is always better to be safe than sorry and we want to do our part in keeping our homes and neighbors as healthy and safe as possible.

If you have the splendor of seeing the leaves changing colors in the fall, get out and enjoy it as much as you can.  It is one of the most beautiful times of the year.

 

 

Organizing Tips for September

Family illnesses are just one of the things that can get our routines messed up.  It has happened with one of my husband's family members and travelling plus has caused me to adapt my schedule and other things.  While it can be difficult to manage, taking a step back and thinking through our priorities can make the difference in being frustrated and overwhelmed or at peace.  So even though it is long overdue, here is the update for September.

This month marks a shift in the thinking and planning for many of us.  Summer vacations are behind us, we look forward to cooler temperatures and we plan for the upcoming holidays.  Below are some strategies to help us make in organizing clothing, bedrooms and closets.

Most of us have attachments to our clothing, especially those that were expensive.  I have had great success with a local consignment store and recommend them.  It is less hassle than a yard sale and you will get some return on your financial investment. 

Of course, I also recommend donating to worthy charities.  Not only will you make your space more livable, but you will be helping those who simply cannot afford purchasing clothing otherwise.  It will be a double blessing!

o       In the closet, remove all empty hangers first.  Look at each piece of clothing and make a decision to sort as follows:

o       It fits, I wear it—leave it in the closet

o       It does not fit—donate/sell pile.  It will probably be out of style when it does fit.

o       It needs repair--if it is useful, place in a repair pile.  If not repaired in one month, remove it.

o       I do not wear it or like it—donate/sell pile

o       I am not sure--place in separate pile, label and date.  If not worn in one year, donate/sell.

o       Clean the closet area, and reconfigure the rods, shelves if needed or desired.

o       Additional hanging space can be made by installing an adjustable hanging rod.

o       Replace wire hangers with more suitable ones but save a few if needed in garment bags when traveling.  Orderly Places has a tip sheet on types of closet hangers.

o       On closet shelves, clamp on dividers can be used to separate clothing or they can be placed in suitable containers.

o       Use hanging racks for the backs of doors or on rods to store bulky or specialty items.

o       As you return items, sort the clothes you will wear and keep by type-blouses, pants, dresses, skirts, etc. Sub sort these by colors as much as possible.  Place items worn together with each other.  This makes it easier to know what you have and find items easier.

o       Look at what you have and make a list of items you really need but are not there for future purchases.  Determine to buy only what is on your list.  One suggestion is to limit the number of prints and multi color designs and use mainly solids.  This allows more flexibility in creating outfits and using accessories.

o       Clothing in drawers or chests or on shelving should be organized with the same process as with closets.  Use dividers or containers to separate categories, colors, etc. in the drawers.

o       Some clothing can be rolled rather than folded to make sorting and access easier.

o       Shoes can be stored on hanging sorters or under shorter clothing in racks or shelves.  If they are stored in boxes, use clear plastic or label with pictures or descriptions.  I also recommend sturdy under the bed containers for off season shoes.

o       Evaluate the accessories you have to determine if they are still usable.  I had quite a collection of scarves back when Oprah made them popular and finally gave them up after taking my own advice.  If they ever make a comeback, they will be different, I am sure.

Additional unrelated tips:

In the next month or so, stock up on cold and flu products.  It is often difficult to find those you prefer when they are needed most.

This is a good time to purchase a calendar/planner if you use the write in type.  I prefer one that shows a week at a glance with the days divided into hourly spaces.  This is one of the best ways to schedule, plan and use time to the greatest use since you can see available hours in each day.

As much as I hate it, now is the time to plan for the holidays.  Pencil in some activities, gifts, meals, etc. in your planner.  More tips will follow in the months to come.